“Marriage inspired by love brings two people together under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions. They are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part”
– George Bernard Shaw
I am in the midst of reading an interesting book; “The Art of Choosing” by Sheena Iyenger and these words struck me. They actually got me thinking on the success quotient of love marriages vis. a vis. arranged ones.
In arranged marriages, marital bliss is primarily gauged by the fulfillment of duties while for love marriages, the major criterion is the intensity and duration of the emotional connection between the two. Logic suggests that emotional connect has a subjective element while fulfillment of duties is more objective, thus has more chances of success. The expectation levels in arranged marriages also are normally lower. Contrary to that, chemistry quotient and understanding levels may be higher in love marriages.
Besides the basic premise, if you even think from the personality point of view, the people who opt for love marriages may be more individualistic or independent by nature as against people who opt for the arranged ones. My gut feel is that higher the independence or individualism in a person, lower is the adjustment capability which can play a major role in keeping a marriage intact.
Trust me guys, I’m not playing an advocate for arranged marriages..(I don’t advocate marriages in general – I think marriage as an institution is grossly overrated but that’s the current cynic in me so ignore please!)
I would like to know what you guys think. What has a higher success ratio? and your rationale behind it….would love to hear your point of views.